Using the Power of Choice with your Family.
How often do you find yourself recounting negative experiences and using expressions such as, “I had the worst day” or "Nothing is going right for me."?
Negative thinking, or focusing our emotions on the unpleasant events of our day, is a quick-fire way to hurt our mental hygiene. It is a habit that becomes cyclical, leading us to thought patterns and daily habits that hurt us further. Experts report that negative thinking is our first line of defense against social encounters similar to the way we needed to use survival instincts many years ago. As evolution has progressed, our critical analysis has gone from using our heightened sense of negative perception to find threats in our environment (ie: poisonous berries and tigers and bears- oh my!) to today’s age of deciphering social nuances. While it’s good news that most of us are no longer threatened by wildlife daily, we are stuck with this instinctively negative mindset. Or are we?
The beauty of being human with these awesome big brains of ours is something called neuroplasticity. This is the brain's ability to change its wiring and thought patterns. While our instincts may be negative, we can use tools to help us think positively. Just like how you lift weights to strengthen muscles, you can create positive thoughts to improve your outlook and strengthen your mental muscles. As an occupational therapist who currently works with older adults who have chronic or degenerative conditions, I have seen firsthand how mental attitude is a game changer for someone’s daily well-being. However, keeping a positive attitude when life presents persistent challenges is undoubtedly hard. This is where the AND strategy comes into my treatment sessions. For example, when a patient has chronic pain we will use reframing thoughts in our session such as, “ I have pain in my hands AND I was able to make my breakfast today”. This mental exercise allows the person to hold space for what is hard and still generate a positive thought. This strategy allows me to interact with the patient without promoting toxic positivity, avoiding statements like, “Oh just think positive” or “At least you could make breakfast”.
When I found success with this strategy at work, I started trying it at home with my children and found it also had similar results. When recounting negative parts of their day, I will allow them time to vent and hold space for their feelings, and try to find a positive part of their day before they go to bed. I teach my children about the power of their thoughts and how their thoughts and words have a profound impact on their day. They can accept positive and negative experiences of their day while remaining focused on the things that go well to keep a positive attitude. The third installation of the Honey Bees book series, titled The Power of Positivity, expands on this topic in a child-friendly way with expansive illustrations that help readers of all ages learn how to think positively and cultivate a healthy mindset. You can pick up your copy at your favorite online book retailers, including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and more. Follow along on social media as I share more about health and wellness strategies for the whole family @honeybeeshive__ on Instagram.
